You are never too fortunate to ask for emotional help.

I dedicate this to anyone who thinks their wealth, health, or success negates them from seeking counsel or psychotherapy.

Maybe you live or originate in developing land. Many areas are stricken with poverty or conflict. You, however, are wealthy. You come from wealthy elders, and are able to travel, maybe even outside your origins. You are educated, and see beyond dated tradition. You may still be faithful, but added nuances like procreation, diets, lifestyle, or appearance aren’t imperative to being such. Likewise, you are still aware of the strife that surrounds you, and while you haven’t experienced it, your friends and neighbors may have had to deal with it. You are sorry for them, and do sometimes worry about this. Maybe you even had a brush of misfortune. The family business almost had to be sold, you almost had to go into foster care, you were nearly hit by an explosive, you had a pregnancy scare, you were betrothed to a wealthy, untoward acquaintance, but you were lucky and got out of it.

Still, even though it didn’t happen to you, or even though it happened to someone else near you, it still hurts. You still deserve counselling, empathy, and solace. Please don’t think you’re too rich, too wealthy, too successful, too able, or too non-marginalized for therapy. You still deserve contentedness and love.

Hi

I miss you. Still do. Always will. Would be easier if I didn’t, and we both know it. But here we are.

I still wish you the best, and I hope you do the same for me. Hope we can reconnect one day. Whenever that day may be. But work on yourself. I won’t be in your way now.

Don’t be afraid of how we left things. I was hurt by you, but I hold no grudge for it. I did apologize for what I’ve done several times. I know you accepted, but my actions still haunt and upset you. But don’t let that cloud your perception of me and all the good memories we shared.

I still love you and I support you.

Interviewing employees from struggling, bankrupt, or defunct retail companies

As I may have written about here, I worked in a struggling department store within the last two years, and when applying for other jobs, prospective employers would often get distracted by my company’s name and the recent turmoil it had endured.

I’m working on an article that will be featured on Medium about what I wish employers knew when interacting with employees of our background and connections, and how they can make us more comfortable opening up about our skills. In short, using my perspective, I want to help people be better bosses, leaders, and recruiters instead of overwhelming us with complaints or perspectives we’ll all heard before.

Does anyone have any advice about stuff I should mention? Also, please get in touch if you’d like to be interviewed. I am also going to tag some companies which I will have in mind as I write this.

Still…

You’ve told me time and time again you’re not ready. You care for me and appreciate my own care to an extent. But I know my care can be smothering. I am sorry for not giving you space despite our distance. But please, be direct and say when my unloading is upsetting you, or you just don’t feel like talking. The only reason I confided in you was because I trusted you. I never expected you to have all the answers. Nor did I ever expect you to continue to listen to me drone on. Please let me know when to change the subject, and I’ll gladly oblige. I’ll gladly make changes, and I already had. You had too. I’d halt myself from getting too dismal, and you’d begun to tell me directly when you were uncomfortable. Change was minimal, but I wish you could really see the progress.

I really miss you, and I bet you miss me. I think of you a lot as we approach the month of your birth. Likewise, I did want to reach out again months ago, but was displeased to see I was barred from accessing you through several communication outlets. Even searching your name in a directory or search engine is too much for me. I’d love to find other ways to connect with you, but not if it isn’t what you want. Since you were the one to stop this, you’ve left it in your own hands to be the one to restart it. Please, do not feel perturbed to do this. I have forgiven you and have no respite at all. Sometimes I think you wish I did, and I had, but grudges just hinder our fortitude. I stopped being angry because I know you are going through significant challenges just as everyone else. Further, I understand my presence in your life presents a duality that you can’t confront just yet. Please know that whenever you are ready to restart our friendship, I will be here with open arms.

I love you…still.

I will

I will do better,

I will be better,

I will get more,

I will get respect.

I will get appreciation.

I will get validated,

I will love others.

Others will love me.

~ This is a positive affirmation I wrote to myself more than a year ago on a piece of receipt paper during a particularly stressful day working as a saleslady in a department store. It’s a very crumpled and stained paper, and it’s in my crummiest handwriting. Though I thought the message was good, and I need to remind myself of these certainties as often as possible. So I’m preserving this message here before I get rid of the paper.

A vivid dream

You were in my dream last night. My brother had told my mom and I that my sister was talking to you, seated across from one another at a small dining table in what seemed to be a restaurant, on an outside patio. My brother, mother and I were seated in a dining booth. I can’t remember if my father were present.

I walked over to your table, and somehow got the impression my sister liked you more than I did. I approached you meekly, as we’ve been noncommunicative for far too long, and I worried you were still cross, and continue to urge me to forget you. But you were your true self–your best self–and just as kind to me as the moment we began texting. You were funny, smart, charming, appreciative, and sympathetic.

I may have mentioned the argument you initiated, the one I didn’t want to end until it had graduated into a compromising moral. You may have apologized, may have said it was a rough time at that moment, and you don’t hold it against me. I may have even seen you take out your phone, find my name in that messaging service, and remove the block on me. All or part of that could have happened, but I’m uncertain; you know how fuzzy dreams can get.

Then we walked along a field, and I think my family accompanied us, loosely. You began to look different. Your hair got longer, and you wore it in a bun at the back of your head. Then your nose got crooked. Then maybe your beard grew out, maybe your skin lightened or darkened–I don’t fully remember, it was a dream. I felt unsure if you were the same person, even though you were still handsome and had a similar personality. I was unsure if I could recognize you as the same individual. Then the dream ended.

I don’t know what this means, but it made me hopeful that you might be thinking of me, missing me, and forgiving me, maybe changing for the best. To certify this optimism, when I got dressed this morning, I put on the same shirt I had worn the last time we met in person.

Resolutions

ReadytoFloat! ¡Lista para Flotar!

resolution # 1,003 :: junejordan

I will love who loves me
I will love as much as I am loved
I will hate who hates me
I will feel nothing for everyone oblivious to me
I will stay indifferent to indifference
I will live hostile to hostility
I will make myself a passionate and eager lover
in response to passionate and eager love

I will be nobody’s fool

from Haruko/Love Poems

https://poetrying.wordpress.com/2015/04/07/resolution-1003-june-jordan/

Resolution – Time of Insurgence Reflections 2021

I do love the world.
I do find love and joy around the shadowy corners and even the brightest sun-drenched places where only bugs and cacti dwell
I do not believe in keeping hate in my heart. 
I feel ill like Superman to kryptonite.
Those who feel such have no place in my life.
Those who pay me no mind or forget me may someday find their way back,
be they…

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Dedicated to someone

A year ago today, you told me that you loved me, and I said the same. I was surprised that I was brave enough to admit it aloud to you and myself.

Now, you haven’t talked to me in several months, and denied me any access to reaching out. I was very depressed and confused about this at first, but I think I understand now. My love is very intense, as is my trust and reliance in you. It can be very intimidating and overwhelming. You cherish it sometimes, but other times it is too much for you to bear. You don’t have all the answers, you can’t mend the source of my upset into a tidy, compact package of resolution, and neither could I with your problems. But I admitted it. You sometimes get tongue-tied and feel neglected, but aren’t honest enough to admit when I intimidate you. I wish you could, and you worked on it for a while, but it seems you’ve given up once more. At least as it relates to me. I hope you can develop the decency to be transparent in all your other relationships.

The distance is also a pain. I’m sorry for seeking your captivation at unusual hours when you are unwilling to entertain my banter. Again, please tell me when you are uninterested in talking. I would understand.

I hope we meet again one day and are able to talk cordially and kindly like we used to. I know you want me to forget you and move on, but I still love you. But I recognize the burden my love may bring. I know it’s a lot to process, but please know that I don’t say it to pressure you into confronting it now. I just say it out of my heart. You, of course, are still unsure. You don’t seem to know where exactly you want to reside, what exactly you want your career to be, or how exactly you want to care for your emotional wellbeing. Please take some time to discover yourself. I love you always. Good luck and God bless you. Happy new year.