Oh hello. I’m being noticed.

I’ll let you in on a secret… Well, a lack thereof. This blog is no secret. It’s attached to my LinkedIn, it’s in my resume, and it generally ranks pretty high when you put my name in a search engine (I’ve looked myself up on Google, Bing, Duck Duck Go, and a few other engines that have gone in and out of vogue over the years).

But, regardless, I have my doubts that it gets much traction at all in my professional life. My resume is already pretty verbose, and a lot of the compositions here and elsewhere with my byline attached don’t always have much to do with positions I apply for. Nonetheless, I was in an interview today and the man I spoke with mentioned he had viewed some of my work. Granted, he didn’t say if it was here, or Medium, LinkedIn, Rooster Global News Network, Patriot Ledger, or wherever. But it’s good to know people actually read my resume and the links I provide. I often presume they go ignored. Well, if a company is overly reliant on ATS, they probably are.

This blog is kind of helter-skelter collection of thoughts, not quite a formal portfolio. I worry it’s dismissed as a trivial vanity project. And maybe it is, but those can sometimes be entertaining I guess. I know most of my stuff is pro bono and/or hosted on a platform that’s part of the user-generated content (UGC) space, but it’s good to know that despite the fact that a lot of my words are present on the web as a lay-user rather than a paid/hired worker, they still have an impact.

Anyway, if you got here after looking at my resume somewhere out there, likely on the internet, thanks for reading my blog. I’m sorry for being a scatter-brained hostess, moving from Stardew Valley, to SpongeBob SquarePants, to holiday stress, to going to church, to The Bell Jar, to taking public transportation, to the importance of pediatric vaccinations, to my trouble with friends, my yearning for self-actualization, to my quest for glory… Thanks. Thanks for noticing.

Proving myself

The reason I maintain this blog, largely, is to prove myself. In my resume, I list one of my occupations as a freelance writer, and sometimes, I feel that’s untrue. I’ve done a few paid projects here and there sporadically, and worked pro bono for a few years, sometimes consistently, but I’m not actively taking on projects. Part of that may be the fault of my dignity and uneasiness with the “gig economy” or social platforms. Years ago, I’d applied for some projects on Fiverr and Freelancer.com, but never got any attention there. Even if I could attract attention on the content mills like those, I might not want it. Folks look to pay meager wages there, and the only people that want to take that kind of work are third-worlders or, people who I alluded to earlier, those who have no dignity.

I, of course, want a full-time job. And in the meantime, I try to freelance, but I don’t have any streamlined strategy to find work. I mainly send queries and pitches, or enter contests. Sometimes editors have these freelancer rosters, where you pass your contact info to them via some form, including links to samples, and indicate what subjects you are interested in writing about. I fill those out sometimes. But “auctioning” myself for a job doesn’t seem right to me. I’m not going to devalue my services just because I want work. Unemployment checks are adequate here and often I’d rather just take them then subject myself to tomfoolery.

Maybe another aspect to my problem is it’s hard to balance out looking for full-time work and project work. Ideally, I want full-time, but sometimes I feel like I have to cycle back to going to project work because of my lack of experience in some areas. For instance, I’d love to write copy. And I’d know how to do it. Growing up, I’d pour over the catalogues from Sears, Lands’ End, L.L. Bean, Sharper Image, Oriental Trading, Toys R Us, Circuit City, Best Buy, HearthSong, among others. The copy on ecommerce brands isn’t as human-centered as it is in paper catalogues. It’s mostly stuffed with keyphrases instead of anything meaningful, and I’d love to fix that. I know how I’d do it, but because I haven’t done it before I’m often passed up on offers. Thus, the way to get experience in copywriting could lie in a freelance contract.

Anyway, I want to make an impact more than anything. I want to leave a trail of beautiful prose and verse whenever someone plugs my name into a search engine. Hopefully that will happen one day, if I, and others, allow myself the opportunity.